We thought the twins were ready for potty training.
We REALLY did...
Joke was on us!
I guess having a knack for holding your bladder until the next diaper comes is more indicative of preference than readiness.
It wasn't a total bust though. I got 2 awesome stories to regale their future prom dates with.
Trying to keep track of naked 2.5 year old twins can be difficult. You'd think that their penchant for noise and chaos would keep me constantly alert. Unfortunately, that's true. I AM constantly on the alert for noisy activities. It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for.
I was trying to convince Delilah that the little potty in the living room wasn't pure evil when I finally realized that I had not seen or heard from Porter in the past 2 minutes. That is a LONG time for a kid to stay quiet, which usually means they're getting into trouble and don't want to be discovered before the damage is done.
I began walking up and down the hall, opening doors, and checking corners while hollering his name. Thankfully little mini mom (aka Delilah) decided to follow behind me screaming "Porter! Porter! Porter!" rather than follow his example.
I was at first confused when he didn't answer and I didn't immediately find him. I searched the house again......and again......
By the 4th time, I was seriously panicking. I even tried telling Porter that if he didn't come out that instant that he'd be in timeout.
Not a word.
So off I went running at breakneck speed down the hallway screaming for my baby (with my other baby thinking this was ridiculously hilarious and skipping along to keep up) when suddenly the hallway door burst open and Porter fell out laughing his head off.
I knew he hadn't been locked in there since we have a nifty little "latchy-catchy"door jammer on it. The child had purposely hidden in the closet and kept quiet behind the coats all 4 times I had opened that door! I fumed while he laughed and then took a little satisfaction in the look of shock that crossed his face when I told him to go straight to timeout for not obeying Mommy.
Oh ya. Who has the last laugh now little boy?
Well, apparently he did.
He stomped off down the hallway and went into his bedroom, slamming his door in the process. I sighed and went in to remind him that slamming doors was not an appropriate way to demonstrate emotion.
I found him angrily sitting behind the door, peeing on the floor.
And I was stepping in it.
Mom 0 vs Porter 1
I have always been very proud of the fact that I rarely ever got peed on with two newborns in my house. I didn't know that potty training would completely demolish my scoreboard.
Yesterday, Delilah asked to sit on the potty. I was shocked that she was asking permission and that she was doing so willingly. I happily encouraged her only to be disappointed that she merely sat down and stood back up again to walk away. False alarm.
She then asked to sit on my lap while we watched a movie together. I had no problem with that and was snuggled up with my little girl in no time. I should have realized something was wrong when she started to lift herself off my lap, lock her knees together, and whine.
But what REALLY gave it away was the warm liquid dribbling into my lap.
I was so happy that she decided to obey me at that point and ran over to the potty.
Way better choice than my lap.
So needless to say, I was very excited when she successfully used the potty and then joined Porter and I for a potty celebration dance!
No. There is no video and no, you couldn't see it even if there were.
So there we were, dancing and singing about Delilah and her amazing potty skills. When a spontaneous round of applause broke out in her favor, I supported it. She asked for some toilet paper and I thought I was doing her a solid by getting it for her. She gratefully took it and before my brain had a chance to catch onto what was happening, her hand and the toilet paper were dunked in her potty. The sweetheart was trying to "clean up" her pee.
When my brain finally caught up, I yelped and grabbed her quickly away from that horrible but well-meant action and ran her to the kitchen to wash her hands. Afterwards, we went back to the potty and pantomimed what toilet paper is actually used for. I think it stuck.
The next step in "potty celebration mode" is to pick up said potty and go dump its contents in the actual toilet. Delilah was pretty proud of herself and cradled it carefully in her arms while Porter skipped along behind her still singing and dancing for her success.
We got to the toilet and Delilah successfully dumped the contents and flushed the toilet. We all raised our fist in a final victory pump before I turned to take the potty bowl from her to rinse in the sink.
Delilah quickly maneuvered the bowl away from me and plopped it on her head and took off down the hallway still celebrating her victory.
I stood there in shook with my mouth gaping open before a horrified "DELILAH!!!" ripped from my throat and I took off after her. She was completely confused by my disapproval of her new hat and let me know how displeased she was with me as I sat her on the couch and dabbed at the pee in her hair with a towel.
We were ALL definitely getting a bath that day.