As I think back on the first trimester of my pregnancy, it's all kind of a blur. I remember being really tired. SUPER tired. That's why I thought I was sick at first instead of pregnant. I also remember the constant need to EAT. If I didn't eat every 2 hours then I'd get sick. But it's not like I'd sit down and eat a feast either. I'd get all this food and then pick at it until I had eaten maybe half and then be fine until my next "feeding". I really did think that I was going to get hit with morning sickness. I figured that what were the chances of me being one of the lucky ones? Well I turned out to be one of the extremely lucky ones! Besides a bout of food poisoning and taking prenatals without food, there was not a single incident. I knew then and I know now how lucky I was. The tiredness was the worst part of it all really. I would get frustrated trying to do laundry only to get too exhausted to move half way through folding clothes. I'm sure you could infer, but I'll say it anyways: my house was a MESS!!! I knew my body could handle cleaning. It was just that pesky exhaustion! This was me at 18 weeks:
Towards the end of the first trimester I began feeling a change in my body coming on. I started to have more energy but still wasn't quite there yet. By this time I had long decided to quit going to Fall semester at BYU. One week of classes and my OBs indignation were enough to convince me that I would probably die trying. So I deferred. My sciatic nerve was really starting to act up at this point. JT drove the scooter to work so I was able to go out and about in the car. However, I began to learn that even car-fun had its limitations. The photo below is me somewhere at the tail end of my first trimester:
My second trimester saw an increase in pain from my sciatic nerve. My left rib cage also began to swell and hurt so badly it felt unbearable at times. Between my sciatic on my right side and my rib on my left side...well there were a few nights where I opted for sleeping in a sitting position. My depression didn't get much better this trimester either. I'd been struggling with it since I had first found out I was pregnant and was pretty well set into my pity party. I did my best to hide my true feelings from everyone but JT. But the truth was that I was devastated to be going through a HUGE milestone in my life at a random time and with TWO babies. You see, I like plans. I LOVE plans. My plan was to enjoy my time with JT as a couple for about 2 more years before trying to get pregnant. I loved my growing babies. I just cried because they were coming to a mommy who wasn't ready to take care of them yet. I felt like I had already failed them. Their mom was a crybaby who hadn't finished school and definitely wasn't mature enough to handle them. I was selfish and I knew it. Self-pity+guilt=not such a fun wife for JT to come home to.
Somewhere around this time I came to a realization. I knew these babies were a blessing and that I already would have given the world for them. I realized that I was being petty and requiring God to follow my timeline. I was basically saying, "ya, I'll do life according to thy will...as long as it fits within my schedule." For heaven's sake, if God trusted me enough to send two little perfect children at this time then I COULD DO IT. At the very least, I could be a pleasant companion for JT. He deserved at least that much. This is me at 21 weeks:
Interesting story: one Sunday morning we woke up and JT made me waffles. I sat at the kitchen table happily eating until I noticed that I was blue/purple from the knees down. I laid out on the couch and called the doctor's office. Well the doctor's office forwarded me to an answering service. Then that answering service forwarded me to the same doctor's office. We weren't pleased. I called the hospital to speak with a nurse who told me I'd have to come in to get an opinion. So off we raced to the labor and delivery ward. In the room they told me to change into a gown and lay in bed. After changing we found two velcro straps lying on the bed. We didn't know what to do with them. JT assumed that they must be for me to wear! He put it around my waist I'm not gonna lie...I don't really remember much else between these two photos. The photo below is at the end of my second trimester:
Third trimester got well underway with a refresher course in exhaustion. I felt bigger each and every day! I still felt pretty lucky though to be escaping virtually unscathed (well, except for those pesky stretch marks).
Then we decided to move. It was so fast and so chaotic that the time seems to have flown by! The new neighborhood has been getting used to my HUGE belly. The kids move constantly and I'm sure that if it weren't for unisom, I'd be getting very little sleep. About this time I developed SPD--Something Pelvis D-something. The gist of it is that my pelvic joints are softening up and spreading apart to prepare for labor. It creates extreme pain since the bones that aren't softened scrape against each other. The doctor said it's not going to get better. Below is a photo of me after church one evening:
I learned that if I walked through the pain of SPD, I was able to eventually feel 100% better! :) The only time it ever hurts now is in the evenings after the course of a long day. I can handle a little pain in the effort to get to my comfy bed!
JT finished up the nursery paint job and I'm so happy about it! We painted it seafoam green. It's bright but pretty. It looks a lot brighter when there's snow in the backyard.
Lastly, approaching week 35 was a big deal. The doctors told us that most twins arrive at week 36 and to expect them at any time. Panic and excitement have switched off running my life. Contractions are sporadic, but that keeps the doctors happy. Little Porter was verging on 6 pounds only a week earlier. Delilah was just over 4 pounds. From the size of my tummy, I bet that they didn't stop there! This is me at 35 weeks: ..........um, it looks like my uploader thingy won't work. I'll have to post that photo later. Sorry!