At week 8 we woke up and hit the road for our morning doctor's appointment. Well...2 hours later we finally found the hospital. Awesome. They had a huge stack of required paperwork and weren't even sure if I could get in to meet with a doctor anymore! Luckily, they squeezed me in. The nurse was really nice and interested until she found out I wouldn't be giving birth in Arkansas. Apparently that means we're no longer best friends. *sigh*
I laughed when my doctor walked in and asked how I was feeling--she was soo pregnant she looked ready to pop!!! She did a really quick check-up and said all the blood work and tests would be performed in July. Each time she left the room JT tried to play with her equipment! He's such a big kid.
Then the BEST part: she popped open a laptop, squeezed jelly on my belly and proceeded with a spur of the moment ultrasound!!! I don't know if this is standard, but I was shocked! We saw our little baby. It was the sweetest thing I could ever have imagined. I started crying as soon as the doctor left the room. JT just held me. Even though we didn't plan this and definitely weren't hoping for it...we were so strangely happy. It seems like I've always loved JT like I do now. I almost can't remember a time that I didn't want to marry him and have a family with him. Those two things would comprise the whole of my happiness. I have to admit, I don't do too well with my dreams coming true. My cynical nature makes it so that I'm always anticipating the next day will take away everything I've worked for. JT has had to hold me many times as I've cried about how happy I am and how impossible it seems. I do get scared, and quite easily. So to have the whole of my dreams coming true was surreal. I have the man I love and the baby that will be the start of our family. I still tear up everytime I think about it. It's really happening.
So, the aforementioned cynicism left me terrified that the doctors would find something fatally wrong with my pregnancy. As scared as I was, I never voiced my fears. JT didn't even know. To see the baby and hear that it was perfectly healthy was beyond amazing. I had been looking at pictures of a 8 week old baby/fetus for weeks now and easily recognized the head, arms, and torso. I feel silly writing this, but it was the best thing ever.
Parenthood is scary and I still cry when I think that the pure selfish (oxymoron?) love I get to experience with JT will forever change in a few short months. But I am grateful that I get to tackle this new task ahead with JT at my side. I couldn't be paired with a better and sweeter man. It is a blessing and because of him, I know I will never have to worry. No matter what happens, JT and I can handle it together. Oh I can't help lovin that man of mine...:)